happy transferversary

one year ago today, my life changed forever.  while we had to wait several days to see if the transfer was successful, july 24th was the day i became pregnant with the baby i was unable to conceive on my own.  he had to start his life in a petri dish {or something other than my womb}, but i’m so thankful he did.  a year ago i knew nothing more about this baby other than it was our only AA embryo, embryo number 19.  it’s amazing to hold his little body, to kiss his cheeks, to be the recepient of his smiles and laughs, and to watch him grow before my eyes.  my little man and i have been on quite the journey already, and i look forward to the journey ahead.  God is good.


happy 3 months

baby brian,

happy 3 months, baby buddy!  the days and weeks are passing so quickly.  i can’t believe i’m halfway through my time home with you.  i’m dreading going back to work, but i think you will enjoy playing at daycare.  i try not to think about going back to work because i simply don’t want to, but i know i need to start preparing my heart for the transition.

the past month has held big things for you.  you are growing and changing so much!  since we spend all of our days together, i don’t always notice you growing before my eyes, but it hits me when a go-to outfit no longer fits you the same or when i see a picture of you from a few weeks ago.  so far, you are tall and skinny.  every once in a while you chub up, but then the extra fat seems to disappear, and i think it’s because you are stretching it out by getting longer.  i weigh you about once a week by weighing us together, weighing only myself, and taking the difference.  you seem to be around 13 pounds now.  i have a complex that you aren’t chunky enough because my breastmilk may be inadequate.  but the doctor would tell me if he was concerned.  plus, mommy wasn’t a fat baby either, so maybe you have my genes there.  grandma sees you about once a week, and she always tells me you feel heavier and look longer.  i’m still waiting for you to sprout more hair; it’s gotten a touch longer, but still resembles peach fuzz.  daddy and i both agree that you look more like mommy than daddy now.  aside from my pale skin, you have mommy’s eyes, nose, and cold hands and feet {which also means you have mommy’s red hands and feet when you get hot.  this still embarrasses mommy, so i hate that you have to deal with this too}.  you do have daddy’s upper lip and maybe his ears.  despite what we think, friends routinely exclaim that you look like daddy upon first meeting you.  either way, you are one cute baby.

you are definitely becoming more interactive.  smiling at mom, dad, and toys has been taken to the next level with little giggles!  you can intentionally touch toys that are by your side (june 17th) and that hang above you (june 21st).  you no longer instantly cry during tummy time (june 22nd).  in fact, mommy usually picks you up before you get fussy because you’ve had at least 10 minutes of tummy time in that session.  one big milestone is that your two lower central incisors are emerging (june 29th).  you had a few fussy days while these teeth were breaking the gum line, and there’s been a lot of drool and hand chewing.  right around the time that these teeth really started to come in, you began to sleep and rest on your side, mostly so you can gnaw on your hand easily.  you can also flip from back to tummy now (july 3rd), which you’ve done several times in your crib.  you’re not the best at flipping back over, which stresses me out, but i just have to pray and trust you will stay safe.  you are definitely talking more, especially during diaper changes, maybe because you can see mommy and daddy really well at that distance.

regarding sleep, you are now sleeping through the night!  we feed you at 10 pm and again at 7 am.  now mom just needs to figure out when and how to drop the 10 pm feed… we’ve always had to wake you up for that feeding, so it’s hard to tell whether or not you truly need it.  my guess is that we may be able to drop it when you start solids around 4 months.  and while i’m on the subject of food, you currently take six 5 ounce bottles everyday.  i’m looking forward to solids because i really think you will like them, but at the same time i’m not looking forward to them only because i will be that much closer to going back to work.

you are getting better about going out and about with mommy and daddy.  you still don’t love the car seat, but you occasionally nap in it for longer periods of time than you have in the past.

we didn’t have any impromptu doctor visits this month, even though the triage nurse tried to get me to bring you in for teething.  silly.

mommy and daddy still pray for you every day, many times a day.  we pray that you continue to grow and develop on track both physically and mentally.  we pray that your sacral dimple doesn’t cause any health issues.  we pray that you desire and grow into a meaningful relationship with Jesus.  we pray that we have the resources to take care of you.  we pray for your character – we want you to be a leader, compassionate, and caring.  we pray for your safety as you sleep.  

i love you so much, bubby.  your smiles and giggles brighten my every day.  i look forward to all that the next month holds!




i always try to post updates in case someone in a similar situation stumbles upon my blog and wants to know how things turned out.  my d&c was a week ago, 11 weeks postpartum.  the leftovers were removed from my uterus, and i heard from my doctor today that indeed they were “retained products from conception.”  i’m still bleeding. seems it may never end.  my doctor’s nurse said it could last another week.  at this point, blood is just part of my routine.  when it actually stops, i probably won’t trust it.  i do have a post-op appointment 2 weeks from today.

for anyone lactating and undergoing general anesthesia, i didn’t have any issues with milk supply.  i did try to maintain my same pumping schedule, which meant i had to pump in the pre-surgical area before heading to the OR.  and i did set my alarm for 2 am to guzzle water before the no water cutoff time prior to surgery.

oh, and i should mention that i only pumped and dumped once after surgery.  apparently i didn’t even have to do this as new recommendations are as long as mom is awake and coherent she can breastfeed.  i did receive 4 different kinds of anti-nausea drugs {first 3 didn’t work}, so i figured i didn’t want to pass all of these along to mr. baby.