health updates

hypothyroidism… the pendulum has swung and my TSH is now double the normal range, almost 8x what my historical levels were… and free t4 is low.  synthroid it is… probably for the rest of my life.  could be worse, but definitely adds another layer of complexity for future pregnancies.

never wrote about this one, but started getting random joint pain a couple of weeks after i went back to work (at the same time i had another psoriasis flare on my face).  at first it was mainly my wrists, which i attributed to using the keyboard for 8 hours a day after a 6 month break.  then my knees started hurting, then finger joints.  i spoke to my primary care, who was concerned that it could be psoriatic arthritis.  she ran some blood tests, most of which came back normal, although i am vitamin d deficient.  she referred me to a rheumatologist anyway, as blood work usually appears normal in psoriatic arthritis.  at first look, the rheumatologist thinks this is all related to my immune system going haywire postpartum (that’s what postpartum thyroiditis is caused by). he did order some additional tests to check for joint inflammation, i should get the results later this week.  he also put me on an anti inflammatory drug to see if it helped with the pain.  it did, but then i stopped taking it after a few days because i was taking every OTC medication under the sun for a cold, started synthroid, started an antibiotic, and drum roll please… started birth control again.  so, because the NSAID helped, i fear the worst that there is real inflammation.

on to the next thing, finally got a normal pap smear after over a year of abnormal results with cell changes due to high risk HPV {thank you, husband – still not completely over this one yet}.  although, i’m not holding my breath as i will have HPV for life and it could show up again at any point unannounced.  you know what’s so messed up about this situation {besides me making the right decisions and dealing with the consequences of husband’s poor decisions}?  i got the gardisil shot in high school.  apparently it does not cover all strains of high risk HPV.  abstinence is the only thing that will do people, and you better believe i’m preaching this to my offspring.  i think another reason i’m having such a hard time getting over this one is that i could’ve made different choices too.  i knew some came before, but didn’t think it was a big deal.  wrong, it is a big deal.  it is a big deal because i have yet another health problem to deal with.  life is messy.  it just is.  prime example of my ever growing need to part with perfection.  and to forgive.  why is it hardest to forgive the ones you’re closest too?  including yourself?

moving on, i went to see my RE thinking i would need metformon again since i have a history of PCOS.  and guess what, apparently research shows that it’s only really beneficial for ladies with PCOS that are overweight and boarderline diabetic, which so far is not me {i’ve learned to never say never}.  we discussed the goal of future FET(s) and decided it was best for me to resume taking birth control so that my body will be at baseline when we’re ready to move forward.  i have mixed emotions about this… after all that we’ve been through, it just seems wrong to prevent pregnancy.  however, i truly feel that God gave us the number of embryos we have for a reason and i do not want to waste them.  and to be honest, i don’t want to even think about having another ectopic pregnancy experience.  3 months of being fake pregnant and methotrexate to shut it all down, not fun.  further, the odds are against us for natural conception – even if my PCOS were magically cured, the husband has pretty terrible swimmers {a result of HPV?  kidding.  but really, he should have some sort of consequence}.  {also, if you know me in real life, i kindly ask you not to broadcast this whole HPV thing to the world, or anyone really.}

oh, i almost forgot the best detail yet about this appointment with my RE.  i stopped breastfeeding 2 months ago, but still hadn’t started my period.  until the evening before my appointment with my RE, same day i had the repeat pap actually.  my OB was a bit concerned and told me that if i didn’t start by january, to give him a call.  life has a funny way of organizing events sometimes.  oh, and the first period after you’re done breastfeeding, it’s no joke.

so back to doctor appointments.  daycare is rough.  especially the daycare germs.  they are super germs that don’t give up until they’ve got you pinned.  brian got a cold, turned double ear infection.  husband caught he cold next, but eventually got over it.  i thought i was going to sneak by.  false.  it got me, and it got me good.  it turned to a sinus infection, and i’m pretty sure the worst sinus infection i’ve had to date.  my primary care was off the day i felt the sickest, so i got luck of the draw at the doctor office.  the man i saw is an idiot.  he said “you just have a cold and giving you an antibiotic would be like killing a fly with a machine gun.”  he wrote a prescription for an antibiotic anyway, but told me not to fill it unless things got worse and lasted several more days.  so after two days of having a fever and feeling like crap, i decided to fill the antibiotic.  i made the right choice, because i kid you not, the biggest most disgusting ball of mucus i have ever seen managed to exit my right nostril about 30 minutes after i got back from the pharmacy.  it was green, streaked with blood, firm in the middle, and the size of a quarter in diameter.  so i started taking the antibiotic, until a family member tipped me off that this antibiotic wasn’t strong enough for a sinus infection.   after two days of taking it with no improvement other than the fever going away, i practically had to beg my primary care to switch the antibiotic.  she finally agreed, and it has literally taken an additional 4 days to feel human again.  everything that comes out of my face is green.  with that, i will just reiterate that daycare germs are super germs.

i’m sure the world wide web isn’t all that concerned with what’s going on with my health, but on the off chance that someone is, there you have it, folks.

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my little love

if you haven’t noticed, i don’t post pictures of brian on the blog. ¬†just not my thing, took me long enough to post pictures of myself. ¬†anyway, we recently had brian’s 6 month photos taken, and there is one i can actually share… a picture of his sweet little toes :)

happy 7 months

baby brian,

happy 7 months, little love!  no surprise here, but you are still growing, growing!  you are at such a fun age.  you are so interactive, not quite mobile yet (other than rolling many times over), and your personality is getting bigger by the day.  you love music, being carried around, playing in the saucer and jumperoo, walks outside, and bath time.  you get so very distracted when eating or getting your diaper changed.  you can’t quite sit up yet, so mommy feeds you in the bumbo – you spent too much time trying to sit up in the bouncy seat, but the bumbo has challenges too.  you try to grab the buckles to put in your mouth, you try to reach down to touch the table, you try to grab the food and spoon if mommy sets it down, you try to put your bib and hands in your mouth, the list goes on.  even during bottle feedings, you have a newfound interest in touching mommy’s hair and face.  when you reach your little hand up, i give it a loud kiss and you giggle away.  i wouldn’t trade those moments for the world!  during diaper changes, you are so intrigued by the containers of lotion and cream in the little cubbies on either side of your changing pad.  you always try to turn and grab them, sometimes you’re successful.  you’re definitely strong enough that it’s hard to keep you facing forward so mommy can finish the diaper change.  back to sitting up, we’re working on it!  you’re definitely strong enough, you just don’t understand that if you throw yourself back you will fall.  earlier today, you did sit up by yourself for 5 seconds… you have to start somewhere.

you are less interested in eating than you have been in the past.  i’m fairly sure that part of it is that you are ready to move to a 4 hour schedule instead of eating every 3 hours.  however, since you’ve been at daycare, it’s hard for mommy to know what you really need.  maybe over thanksgiving break in a few weeks i can work on adjusting things.  you eat all sorts of veggies and fruits now.  i mix them with rice to make them a bit thicker, which you do better with.  you also eat baby yogurt.  the first time you tried it, you had a funny look on your face, but then you ate it like a champ!  it is quite possibly the messiest food to feed you though!  anyway, for now you get three small meals of solids and 5 six ounce bottles a day.

you still sleep pretty well at night, although i think you had your first bad dream a few nights ago… you started crying pretty hard at 11:30 pm.  because you had been sick with ear infections, mommy thought it was prudent to check on you, turns out you were sound asleep and felt cool as a cucumber with no fever.  i picked you up to calm you down and you nestled into my shoulder and fell right back asleep (being your mom is seriously the best).  you take 3 good naps a day at home, but only 2 small ones at daycare.  i think daycare is exhausting for all of us, but daddy and i hope to make some changes soon.

while i’m on the subject of daycare, it pains me to write that your “teachers” are not taking care of you like mommy would.  aside from the poor nap routine (i get it, daycare is just different than home), your onesies are often completely soaked with drool despite my efforts to take you every morning with a bib on.  your teachers also told me that you are biting other children. but you’re not mobile yet, so they must be putting other babies on top of you.  plus, everything goes in your mouth – you’re too little to know that another human is not fair game like a toy.  your teachers also seem to not be able to feed you solids at the right mealtime, so you actually had no solids for dinner the other night.  my favorite is probably this: your teachers told me that you are having a hard time playing independently and that you’re too fussy.  i responded that you’re probably fussy from the lack of good naps… doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out.  there is another little boy close to your age in your class, henry.  your teachers are always comparing you to him and suggesting your schedule should be like his.  but you are not henry!  most days, you are crying when i come to pick you up.  monday this week was the icing on the cake… a different teacher was in the classroom when i came to get you.  i heard you wailing as i came down the hall, signed you out, and covered my shoes.  i walked in the room to see that you had slipped from this big boppy that they often use to help you sit up.  you also had no toys around you, and you were sitting in a huge poppy diaper.  meanwhile, the daycare worker just sat on a rocking chair and rocked another baby who was not eating or upset, as she stared into space.  the daycare has a policy to check IDs if they are not familiar with who is picking up the child, and this lady just completely ignored us.  i started to put you in your carseat outside the classroom, but you spit up.  i went back in to get a wipe and the teacher said “what’s the baby’s name?”  clearly she did not know us and should’ve checked my ID to make sure i was actually your mommy.  another parent was picking up his son when all of this was happening.  we left the classroom together and i asked him if you had been crying like that the whole time he was in the room, and he said yes.  it’s hard to hand you over to someone for 10 hours a day and trust that they are doing the best thing for you.  we tried it for a month, it did not work, so your “teachers” will not be your teachers for much longer.

we’ve had lots of doctor visits since last month.  your routine well child checkup – you are a tall one (seems like your chubbiness goes away pretty quickly as you gain more length).  another quick visit to get your first flu shot.  two sick visits, one because you scratched your eye, and one for double ear infections (october 23rd) that came from a nasty daycare cold.  in fact, the cold was so nasty that mommy and daddy got it too and mommy ended up with a sinus infection.  we also had two appointments with the cranial banding specialist.  it’s a good thing we did because even though the neurologist tried to convince us that your plagiocephaly is mild, according to the actual measurements, its technically severe on the asymmetry measurement and the cranial band is covered by insurance.  you have been measured at this point and we’re waiting for your helmet to arrive!  the plain band is pretty ugly, so we plan to get yours painted… maybe for the carolina panthers (they are actually having a good season this year, and you do like to watch football with daddy).  reflux is still an issue, but daddy and mommy pray everyday that it parts ways with you soon.

we did do some fun things this past month.  we had your 6 month photos taken.  they turned out so great… probably because you are so handsome!  and we also dressed you up like a bear for our church’s “trunk or treat” the day before halloween and for trick or treating on actual halloween.  you didn’t love getting in the costume, but you didn’t mind it once it was on.  and boy were you the cutest bear i’ve ever seen!

we have lots of other prayers for you – for your growth and development, for your health and safety, for you to have wisdom, for you to love and serve the Lord.

i love you so much, baby buddy.  you are my favorite and i’m so grateful God chose me to be your mama.

love,

mommy