IVF recap – FET attempt #2

call me crazy, but brian is approaching one (will be one by the time i actually post this), and i feel the need to get the show on the road for number 2.  i’ve seen so many friends who battled infertility with their first to go on and wage war again for another baby, and i would rather have a bit of a buffer and not feel crunched.  hubby agrees, so we are proceeding with caution.

i’m writing this in real time, but will post later… sometime after the transfer.  i’m just not a post as i go kind of girl… maybe i’m slightly superstitious {which is totally ridiculous}.

hormone evening out: BCPs

it’s funny, details from my first transfer that i swore i would never forget, i’ve forgotten… like exactly how long i took birth control and lupron shots, how many progesterone shots prior to the transfer, etc.  good thing i {sort of} documented that here.  i don’t have an official day count of how long i have been taking BCPs, because i’ve been taking them since november in preparation for this.  i recently called my RE’s office to say i was ready to start the FET process again and they drafted up a protocol that seems like a good timeline.  during this time, we also signed consents for the transfer, coincidentally on brian’s birthday. 

trial transfer and sonohysterogram

apparently my bladder was too full again {sorry dr. w, took me 45 minutes to get to your office thanks to traffic and the morning hot tea moves quickly}.  dr. w explained that these tests were necessary again because after having a baby the uterus changes size and shape, and theoretically the measurements for embryo placement may be different. i also had some “retained products of conception” after delivering brian requiring a d&c, so dr. w wanted to make sure my uterus was clear.  i’m happy to report that all went well.  interestingly enough, this test was scheduled for brian’s original due date.  dates don’t line up often in my life, but this is just weird. 


i started lupron on trial transfer day {again, weird with the dates since this was my due date with brian}.  i actually did not want to give myself the shot even though it was a tiny baby one.  crazy how i would do almost anything to get pregnant the first time.  shots didn’t phase me in the slightest, but today it did.  it went well enough though.  lupron will continue until progesterone starts.  i don’t remember this happening for FET #1, but i started spotting on lupron and the last day of BCPs… the only thing i can think of is that i took BCPs one day longer than i normally would in a cycle.  guess we’ll see how my hormones look in a few days.  also, my boobs hurt the last few days of lupron only, before starting patches.  i don’t remember this happening last time {at least i didn’t document it}.  lupron is supposed to suppress, so who knows. 

also, seems these little shots are giving me little headaches most evenings.  all for a good cause, i suppose.

last BCP

after starting lupron, i only took BCPs for 5 more days.  i spotted on the last day (see above).  my period/withdrawal bleeding started two days after the last BCP, which is similar timing to FET number one.

cycle day 3 screening (somehow this is technically CD 1, i guess because it’s my patch start date)

my appointment went well today.  i had to bring brian with me, which is always awkward at an {in}fertility clinic.  hopefully the other patients who have yet to have a baby view it as a success story, instead of judging me for rubbing a child in their faces.  there were two other ladies who had kiddos with them, so that helped.  back to the appointment, i met one of the newer doctors today (two of the familiar faces from my IUI, egg retrieval, and first FET days have since retired).  this lady was very friendly, but either her techniques weren’t as great or i couldn’t relax because my bladder was full having no chance to pee bringing brian with me and brian was fussing during the ultrasound because he wasn’t a fan of the lights getting turned off.  either way, the ultrasound wasn’t comfortable, but my insides looked good.  nurse mary {still not my fave, and apparently she is the nurse manager now… gasp!  i could think of so many other better candidates for that position just from my limited interaction with other nurses} called later in the day to say my blood work was good too, so i start estrogen patches this evening and decrease my lupron dose.

estrogen patches

first patch was uneventful.  it gets traded out this evening for another single patch.  then i will work my way up to four patches by changing them out and adding one every other day.  

by the third day of patches (still only one patch), i have noticeable cervical mucus and my ovaries hurt.  i remember the cervical mucus from last time, not so much ovary pain.  i’m moving up to 2 patches tonight.  my next ultrasound and labs are scheduled for next week (scratch this – i ended up going sooner, see below), hopefully my ovaries will be quiet and my lining will be pretty. 

i’m up to four patches now.  holy mucus.

been at four for a few days, and i had my first emotional breakdown.  i’m sure the hormones don’t help my cause, but for the record this process still sucks.  relying on a doctor to conceive a baby for you sucks.  relying on estrogen patches and progesterone shots to stay pregnant sucks.  having to order said medications from the speciality pharmacy because my insurance plan makes me sucks.  crying helps me accept.  this is my journey.  everyone has something because life is imperfect.  instead of constantly striving for perfection, i need to say thanks for what i have and how far i’ve come.  for me, and probably for most, this is a never ending process.  also, my appetite is out of control and i’ve gained a couple of pounds quickly… i’m assuming this is from the patches?  i’ll blame it on them for now.

i’ve been at four patches for more than a week and all of the sudden i have red spots that will not fade when i change them out.  what the heck?  hopefully this is just a fluke or i will run out of real estate soon. 

mid-cycle check (CD 7)

had an impromptu visit with my RE this morning after 3-4 days of ovary soreness.  my doctor asked me why i was concerned… “because you have cervical mucus?”  while i wanted to reply with “i’m not that stupid,” i instead told him about how my ovaries have felt tender.  i was just supposed to have an ultrasound, but the ultrasound revealed several smallish follicles and fluid in my uterus, so my RE ordered blood work too.  there is no dominant follicle, so ovaries are not an issue, so now we will have to see if the fluid disappears.  i wonder if this is what’s causing my discomfort.  anyway, i’m told this happens sometimes and progesterone usually dries it up.  i’m kind of worried about this cycle now and am hesitant to transfer our next best embryo because i don’t have a whole lot of confidence in my uterus.

second mid-cycle check (CD 12)

well, no more fluid!  i honestly think the fluid was a giant ball of mucus because something that looked like a mucus plug and that was streaked with blood fell out of me over the weekend/CD 9.  anyway, back to my appointment this morning… i had the triple stripe, as pointed out by the doctor on duty and according to nurse mary, everything looks perfect.  i know all too well that just because things look good doesn’t mean you will actually get pregnant.  we have a fair amount of frozen embryos still, but next in line is our only AB embryo… the rest are BB.  i’m nervous to use our AB, but i’m praying that the right embryo will make it to my uterus.

day minus 5 (new medicine day)

i traded lupron for four new medicines:

  1. doxycycline 2x a day: uneventful.  just had to rearrange my prenatal time.
  2. crinone 2x a day: the real fun hasn’t even begun… give this puppy a few more days to work up some good funk.
  3. progesterone in ethyl oleate: first shot was just fine, however my butt muscle was sore the next day.
  4. medrol: loathed this one last time and still do.  i’m currently listening to my husband snore as i “rest” in hopes that sleep will come soon.

day minus 3

just not feeling good about this cycle.  i feel crampy every now and then… who knows.  got a wart on my finger frozen at my primary care doctor this morning, seriously worried that will interfere with the FET.  he started talking about how the freezy stuff triggers an immune response, pretty sure i do not need any immune responses.  still praying that all works out according to God’s plan, which i know it will.

update on crinone… this stuff is still gross.  i think it seriously irritates all of my lady parts and just makes them hurt.  i had the option of skipping crinone this time, but hubby and i decided it was best to keep the same protocol that worked with brian, even though my RE doesn’t use crinone as much anymore.  to think, i could’ve avoided this.  if this cycle is not a success, i may consider ditching crinone for future cycles.

oh, and PIO… how you are a pain in my {back}side, literally.  i forgot how sore i got from these shots the first time… natures way of tricking me in to doing this again.  while they suck, when i think about the fact that i only had to use them for ~9 weeks with brian, i know it’s worth it.  it’s such a short span of time relative to the rest of pregnancy {and life}.  i hope i’m lucky enough to get another babe on take 2 so i don’t have to have cycle after cycle of PIO.  

either i’m adjusting to the medrol, it’s being kinder to me, or i’m so exhausted that my body gave in, but sleep finally came easier (although i did wake up to pee in the middle of the night, which is unusual).

day minus 2

blood work only today.  the past two draws, it felt like the technician was trying to rip the vein out of my arm. anyway, nurse mary called to say everything looks “perfect.”  i don’t love that word, but whatever you say nurse mary… i will be there at 10 am for a 10:30 am transfer in two days. 

day minus 1

i’m nervous and excited.  over thinking everything.  and finding comfort in some of my favorite Bible verses today.  in less than 24 hours, i will be at my RE’s office for FET take 2!

transfer day

after an awful night of sleep, here we are.  prayers said, consents signed, valium taken, hospital gown on.  just found out our AB embryo didn’t survive the thaw, so now we’re down to 6 BBs, well 5 after the one that will be transferred today.   i’m disappointed and sad, but God is in control.  this process is so emotional, but i hope will be worth it. 

the transfer itself went well, although apparently my bladder was not full enough {i will likely never get this right}.  we got to see our embryo up on a big monitor before the transfer and watch it make its way to my uterus on another monitor.  then i rested for 30 minutes after {and maybe cried a little}.  the nurse had my doctor stop by after she saw me crying.  he probably thinks i’m nuts, but this process is just draining and full of the unexpected, and sometimes you just need to cry those emotions out.

i had acupuncture after my transfer, which is always relaxing.  now i’m just taking it easy at home – i plan to watch a little gilmore girls, search for some more house decorations, maybe nap. 

to keep the tradition alive, here is a picture of me and the hubs all suited up for the transfer {love the “artwork” in the background, ha}:

12 day wait

generally, i’m not a patient person.  infertility has helped me work on this a little, but there’s still room for improvement.  it’s only the first day of 12, but i don’t have a great feeling about this cycle.  with brian, i had so much peace.  it’s not coming easy this time.  i’m over analyzing every twinge and cramp, or lack thereof.  i haven’t decided if i will test before my beta.  i don’t want to drive myself crazy, but i want to be prepared if the results aren’t what i hoped for… so maybe i’ll test a couple of days before. 

5 days out now.  on day 3, i swore i was pregnant.  now i’m about 70% sure i’m not and the HPTs agree so far.  i know there’s still time, but my vote is not pregnant.  if anyone has success stories where you were still pregnant with negative HPTs 5dp5dt, i’m all ears.  i keep wondering where i went wrong.  with brian, so many people were praying… maybe i needed more prayer warriors.  then i realized 88% of the population just has sex without telling the whole world and asking for prayer, and they get pregnant.  wouldn’t that be nice.

anyway, here’s to baby g #2, whenever you come along!  


    bitty baby, the casper

    i had my 4th ultrasound today.  after last week’s scare and ultrasound showing a lower heart rate, i had no idea what to expect. i had acupuncture last night, and my acupuncturist said the baby’s heart rate was good.  so i felt a little better going to today’s appointment.  i still didn’t sleep well last night {worry, i’m sure}, and i was extra armpit sweaty this morning {also worry}.

    so getting to the juicy stuff, the ultrasound went well!  bitty baby measured 8 weeks, 1 day {dr. w said baby’s measurements can vary within a range of +/- 3 days}.  i could very clearly see bitty baby’s heart flickering away today.  dr. w zoomed in on the heart and turned on the audio, it was so loud today!  bitty baby’s heart rate was 174 beats per minute, which dr. w said was good!  perhaps bitty baby was taking a nap or just stressed out last week, causing the lower heart rate.  who knows.  dr. w spent quite a bit of time looking around, and at one point bitty baby moved one of its teeny arms.  it was absolutely the coolest thing i’ve ever seen.  dr. w also told me that he didn’t see any blood in my uterus like the doctor last week did {um, probably because it all came out}, which was good news!

    early in the ultrasound, dr. w was pointing out the baby’s head, torso, limb buds.  i commented on how large the head was {apparently 1/2 of the baby is the head right now}.  then dr. w said that babies either look like casper {the friendly ghost} or tweety bird at this gestation.  dr. w said we have a casper.  ha!  i love it!

    i have another appointment with my RE next week, and it could be the last {until baby #2 perhaps}.  if all goes well, dr. w will refer me to a maternal-fetal specialist {high risk doctor since this journey began with a septate uterus}, and he will send me back to my regular OB.  after a year and 9 months with dr. w, it will surely be bittersweet to say goodbye.  but i’m looking forward to no longer being an {in}fertility patient.  it’s also time to start weaning me off all the extra drugs {hormones}.  unknowingly, last night’s progesterone shot was the last for now.  thank goodness, because we had another oozing incident.  i had some choice words and not lady-like things to say about that last night.  ultimately, hubby and i made the decision to administer another 1/4 of a dose.  i will continue estrogen patches and crinone for now.  as much as i hate crinone, i’m thankful it’s sticking around for now so all progesterone support doesn’t stop cold turkey.

    returning to the topic of acupuncture, my acupuncturist apparently has a 98% success rate of determining the gender of the baby around 10 weeks based on the “pulses” he feels.  last night, his initial assessment was… drumroll please… a girl!  say what?  hubby and i still think it’s a boy {although after today’s ultrasound showing a high heart rate, i could buy into the girl forecast}.  it’s fun to have guesses on both sides, i think it will make the gender reveal that much more exciting!  3 girlfriends have all told me their guess is girl.  one even told me about a dream she had {before we even had the transfer} where she and her husband were babysitting our daughter!  maybe bitty baby is a little lady.  who knows!!

    finally, i’m either growing a baby bump.  or i’m super bloated from constipation.  or both.  my pre-IVF size was a zero, so not really conducive to concealing bumps for that long.  i may find myself investing in maternity pants soon.  i only own so many dresses, and i can’t really wear running shorts to work.  otherwise, my symptoms mostly consist of being tired, still disliking sweets {other than homemade chocolate milkshakes apparently}, mood swings, extreme thirst, and the occasional headache.

    well, that’s all for now.  as always, thanks for your prayers and support.  a lot of people were praying for bitty baby over the past week, and i know it made a difference.  God hears our prayers, people!

    my friend sent me this verse last week.  i like it, so i’m going to share it:

    and the Lord, He is the One who goes before you.  He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed. {Deuteronomy 31:8}

    IVF recap – FET attempt #1

    like the post on my first retrieval, i’m writing most of this in present tense and will publish later.  the prep for the frozen embryo transfer is just as time consuming and more lengthy than the prep for retrieval.  maybe it just feels that way because i’m waiting on a baby g.  we’ve been packing and preparing to move into our new house and to become landlords for our condo, so that has been a wonderful distraction.  i’m thankful our transfer will take place after we are settled into our new house so i don’t have to worry about house stress interfering.  anyway, here goes the recap.


    hormone evening out: 18 days

    you guessed it, birth control pills.  and after 14 days of the pill, daily tummy shots of lupron were added to the mix.  i currently have three more days of the pill left and then i should experience withdrawal bleeding, signifying cycle day 1.  my guess is that it is not a real cycle day 1 as i’ll still be shooting up lupron, which is supposed to suppress me.  during this time, i also filled most of the other prescriptions i will need – estrogen patches, antibiotics, an oral steroid, valium for transfer day, progesterone gel, and a smaller version of the intramuscular needle for the progesterone in oil shot.  i have to wait on ordering progesterone in oil since it only has a shelf life of 30 days.  when giving hubby and i a demo of how he will administer the progesterone shot to my rear end during our FET consult, nurse mary pitied me and gave me an extra prescription for 1″ 25 gauge needles instead of the standard 1 1/2″ 25 gauge.  thank goodness.  i look forward to that daily delight coming my way soon.

    regarding symptoms, i’m still dealing with constipation.  if i don’t eat salads twice a day and several servings of fruit, i’m uncomfortable.  although i haven’t weighed myself, i’d venture to guess i’m about 4-5 pounds heavier than when the retrieval process began {edit – this has been confirmed since my original drafting of this section. dang}.  i still don’t fit in my pants.  i’m sure birthdayversary week didn’t help my cause.  but i’m trying not to stress about it too much as hopefully i will have a baby g growing in me soon, which leads to more weight gain, and welcome weight gain at that.


    more hormone evening out: 3 days of lupron only

    this phase was relatively uneventful.  i simply took daily injections of lupron and waited for my menses.

    on the constipation front, i’m slowly becoming more regular.  maybe my pants fit a bit better now too.  i’ll be able to tell when i get dressed for work next week – so far this week i’ve been living in workout clothes {stretchy running shorts} since i’ve been off work and we’ve been moving.


    cycle day 1

    it only took 2 days of no birth control pills for a flow requiring protection to appear.  i’m not surprised as i spotted almost the entire time i took the bcps.  cycle day 1 is a friday {4th of july to be exact}, which i’m really thankful for.  this means my cycle day 2 or 3 screening can either be saturday or sunday and i don’t have to worry about going to my RE’s office on a weekday before work.  now that we live in the burbs {vs. our city’s uptown where home, work, and my RE’s office were all centrally located}, i have to factor in a lovely 20-45 minute commute, depending on traffic, to get to work.


    cycle day 2 screening

    you guessed it, internal ultrasound and blood work.  during the ultrasound the RE on duty asked me if i’d been taking birth control pills.  queue mini panic attack.

    here were my thoughts: why would you ask me that?  did they not work?  are my ovaries full of cysts leftover from the 25 follicles i had?  did acupuncture not help?  ahh!!!

    but instead i said: “yes, i took birth control.  hopefully it did what it was supposed to.”  then his nonchalant response was “yes, it did.”  um, ok, please do not scare me like that again!  you’d think he’d check the notes in my chart for some background info about the current protocol i’m following so he doesn’t have to look at my insides and guess what’s going on.  whatever.

    a different nurse mary called later in the day to say that everything looked good to proceed with the next phase of the protocol which consists of a lower dose of lupron and estrogen patches.

    switching to a slightly different subject, i’ve had cramps the past few cycles.  this worries me, but i shouldn’t let it.  after my septum was corrected, the ridiculous cramps i experienced every menstrual cycle prior to that point magically disappeared.  i read on the world wide web once {i know, fantastic source} that a septate uterus can cause cramping.  my septum was fixed, so made sense to me that the cramps were gone.  recently, my cramps have started to come back, so naturally my brain wonders if my septum came back.  many months ago, i asked my RE if septums can return.  he said no.  so why do i fret?  i personally think the evil one knows that worry is my weakness, and he wants me to worry.  i’ve seen the results of surgery via a HSG, my RE says i’m good to go, now i just need to relax and trust and pray for worry to go away.


    estrogen patch build up (& lupron shots still)

    on cycle day 2, i applied one patch to my lower abdomen.  it stays there until cycle day 4 when i will change it out for a new patch.  i will keep changing the patch(es) every other day but will add another until i get up to four patches every other day.  i don’t love the spot i picked for the first patch, but i’m committed for another day.  the patch is in the perfect spot for the top of my underwear to get caught on it.  i think i will try placing it an inch or so higher on my body next time.

    i’m up to two patches now.  no real side effects, except maybe i’m more emotional.  i cry a lot anyway, so hard to tell.  today i had an acupuncture appointment.  when the receptionist took me back to the treatment room and offered to schedule another appointment, i asked for an appointment on my transfer day, 7/24.  then she informed me my acupuncturist will be out of office that day, and the whole week of my transfer really, but his partner could see me.  super.  queue mini breakdown {again}.  there were tears.  i have no idea how much skill is involved, but i figured it takes some time for an acupuncturist to get to know my body.  i’ve been seeing chuck for over 3 months now.  he helped me through my first egg retrieval, and all i need him to do is see me through to transfer day.  a new acupuncturist on what i argue will be one of the most important days yet is unsettling.  i’m seriously considering calling nurse mary tomorrow to see how much flexibility there is in the timing of the transfer to see if i can reschedule when my acupuncturist will be in town.  guess i will pray about it first.

    well, i’m up to 3 patches now.  tonight i will be swapping them out for 4.  thank goodness because there were almost some patch casualties yesterday and this morning.  turns out sweat and patches don’t mix {learned this on my walk/run in 1,000% humidity yesterday}, but showering is ok.  then this morning, i woke up to one of my patches half sticking to my pj pants, half sticking to me.  i just pressed it back on my belly and carried on since they will be changed tonight anyway.

    the only noteworthy symptom from estrogen patches is cervical mucus, and lots of it.  kind of gross, but at least i know my body is doing it’s job.


    checkup 1

    i had a mid cycle checkup {ultrasound and blood work} this week.  it was relatively uneventful.  the good news is that the results were great so we are carrying on.


    last lupron shot

    i took my last lupron shot last night.  trading it for a scarier, more painful, but absolutely necessary shot tonight… progesterone in ethyl oleate.  i’m also adding crinone {progesterone gel, not my favorite, but again necessary}, antibiotics, and an oral steroid to my medication routine.  i’m still on estrogen patches – 4 a day now.  hubby’s mom is a nurse, so she’s coming over tonight to teach hubby how to correctly administer the intramuscular progesterone shot to my booty.  woooo!


    day minus 4 {4 days until FET}

    today is day 2 of all my new meds, and they aren’t treating me so nicely {well two of them at least}.  here’s the scoop:

    • doxycycline: antibiotic.  twice a day.  uneventful.
    • crinone: vaginal progesterone gel.  twice a day.  ick!  this stuff gives me funky discharge and makes me itch.  it did this when i used it for both of my IUIs, but i was hopeful this time would be different.  wrong.  upon administering this morning, there was a tiny bit of blood on the applicator afterwards.  um, earth to body, it’s not time to bleed yet!  hopefully my uterus gets the memo.  i tried google researching the different types of progesterone and which ones induce menstruation and which ones don’t.  no real luck there.  all i can do is pray right now.  God knows what i want, and i’m trusting that everything will work out according to His plan.
    • progesterone in ethyl oleate: intramuscular progesterone shot {aka a butt shot}. once a day.  surprisingly uneventful.  mama g {the mother-in-law} is a nurse; she came over and showed hubby how to give the shot last night.  he actually did a good job, but we’ll see how tonight goes.
    • medrol: oral steroid.  once daily at bedtime.  evil.  i took the thing at 9:45 last night, hopped in bed by 10:15, watched maybe 20 minutes of tv, begged hubby to turn the tv off because i was half asleep and drooling on myself, he reluctantly complied, and 15 minutes later i’m wide awake.  and i stayed wide awake until 2:30 am.  what a jerk {the medicine that is}.  i researched this drug a bit since i had some free time in the wee hours of the morning.  turns out a side effect is trouble sleeping.  this should be interesting with the work week coming up.  guess i literally need to take the thing 5 minutes before i intend to fall asleep.  oh, and it starts disintegrating in my mouth before i can get the sucker down.  it leaves a horrible aftertaste that lingers for a while.

    it’s just a few hours later, and i take back all of the kind words i said about progesterone in ethyl oleate earlier.  the injection site from last night {right butt muscle} hurts.  then, when hubby tried to administer tonight’s shot in the left butt, things didn’t go so smoothly.  for one, it hurt like heck {didn’t help that he was wiggling the needle around in my skin.  ouch!}.  then, after he removed the needle, a significant amount of the oily medication oozed out.  he wiped it several times and finally put a band-aid on.  then when i got to the bathroom to examine the site, i was greeted with a fully saturated band-aid of oil, an oil spot on my underwear, and an oil spot on my pj pants.  queue mini meltdown number 3.  i ended up speaking with the RE on call, who assured me i got enough progesterone {this was after i cried about it for 20 minutes}.  seriously, no one should have to go through this to have a baby.


    day minus 3

    talked to nurse mary about last night’s shot incident this morning.  she gave me several tips to try to prevent leakage going forward – roll the oil in a heating pad on low for 10 minutes before giving shot, leave needle in skin for 10 seconds, massage skin gently afterwards.  most importantly, mama g came back tonight and the process went off without a hitch.  too bad she’s skipping town in a few days!

    i also had acupuncture today.  my acupuncturist thinks i’m in the best shape possible, from his perspective, so that’s good news.

    one thing that surprises me is that my boobs aren’t really sore yet.  usually progesterone does that to me.  hope that’s not a bad sign, i’ll find out after blood work tomorrow.


    day minus 2 & checkup 2

    good news!  my hormone levels looked good, so my transfer is still scheduled to take place in two days.

    while at my RE’s office, i visited nurse mary.  she examined my shot sites {cleverly marked in black sharpie} and suggested slightly different areas {now marked in orange sharpie}.

    mama g came over again tonight.  she supervised hubby giving the shot, and all went well.  let’s hope day minus 4’s shot was a fluke.


    the big day!

    we had a scare the morning of.  upon waking up to urinate, i discovered blood.  fresh blood that was still nice and bright.  eek!  there wasn’t much, but more than day minus 4’s apperance.  i promptly called my RE’s office.  nurse mary called back and asked me to come in right away.  my RE needed to see whether the bleeding was coming from my uterus or cervix before my embryo could be thawed.  so to the office we went, and i had probably the fastest appointment on record with my RE.  he inspected my cervix and then performed an ultrasound for a lining check.  his assessment was that my cervix was oozing from all of the hormones {the crinone}.

    so after our morning detour, hubby and i returned home to get a quick workout in and shower before returning to my RE’s office for the transfer.  i popped a valium at 11:30 am, and then we loaded ourselves in the car.  i arrived at my scheduled time of 12 pm for a 12:30 transfer.  i signed some papers and then got to go back to the same pre/post-op area i’d been just 1.5 months earlier for my egg retrieval.  i also got to wear a super fashionable gown again, and hubby got suited up since he could be present for the transfer.  while we waited to be taken back, we prayed together.  here we are, all ready for the big moment:


    the transfer itself went smoothly.  when we got back to the procedure room, the embryologist came in and told us that our chosen embryo survived freezing and the thaw.  she also gave us two pictures of our embryo {definitely a perk of IVF}.  then, i, again, had to lose all modesty as my legs got strapped in stirrups.  the nurse helping with the procedure ultrasounded my belly from the outside {for once, an external ultrasound} to make sure my bladder was full enough, but not too full.  i tried not to overdo it like i did for the trial transfer.  thankfully, it was just right.  my doctor came in, inserted a speculum, and got everything setup for the transfer.  we got to see our little embryo in its petri dish on a big monitor before the procedure began. the embryologist sucked it into something, brought it to my doctor, then they funneled it to my uterus.  the medical team waited exactly one minute, then removed the catheter.  the embryologist brought it back to her lab to make sure the embryo was no longer in her device and shouted “all clear.”  then my doctor relieved my bladder by draining it with a catheter.  that was an experience, but totally worth it so i didn’t have to think about how bad i had to pee as i rested in recovery for 30 minutes.  after my rest period was up, i went straight to acupuncture, then home to bed rest after that.

    i sure hope this time will be a success.  but i know that no matter the outcome, God is in control and He is fulfilling His plan.  a friend sent me this verse the morning of our transfer.  God actually showed me this verse when i was first diagnosed with the septate uterus.  coincidence?  … i think not :)

    there are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel – that will stand. {Proverbs 19:21}


    11 day wait

    i’m currently waiting for my beta.  i was on the fence about posting this because i didn’t want to jinx myself.  but i realized that was silly.  i will either be pregnant or i won’t.  and if i am pregnant, there is no guarantee i won’t miscarry or that our baby will be alive on this side of Heaven.  only God knows His plan for me, hubby, and baby g.  thank you to my support system for your prayers during this process.  i believe in the power of prayer, and i believe in a sovereign God, through Whom all things are possible.